It all started 1 year ago...

Hands sweaty, heart pounding, stomach tied up in knots. I couldn't sleep, so I got up and drove over to Shoppers Drug Mart. The roads were empty, no one was up at 5:00AM. I quietly walked up to the counter with a two pack, I needed double the confirmation. I took both tests thinking that they might tell me that the one I had taken the night before had been an error, after all, the instructions say to use the first morning stream....I had used the last evening stream... But there was no mistake...we were having a baby!

I waited until 8:00AM, literally watching the clock turn from 7:59 to 8:00. I had the number dialled, I pushed CALL, no one answered the first time, I guess being open from 8:00-4:00 actually meant 8:10-4:00. I called back ten minutes later, I told the receptionist that I needed a midwife. For some reason I was shocked when she didn't schedule me an appointment right then and there, she told me that the midwives are swamped and I'd be lucky if I was chosen as a patient, but to wait and see, perhaps I would be one of the lucky ones. 

I went to work. Ben and I texted back and forth about our secret, discussing who we wanted to let in and who we wanted to wait to tell. That night we told my parents, they both cried, this was the first grandchild for them and they couldn't have been happier. We told Ben's mom the next day, she screamed, we were at a restaurant. We told our siblings and decided to keep everyone else in the dark. We wanted to keep our secret for a little while. We waited for February to tell our friends. 

Christmas came and went, we celebrated New Years, moved out of our apartment, settled into our new home and then one day early January I got a call from the midwives, we had been accepted! I finally was able to get excited about planning a home birth. I started researching, reread all my birth books, watched birth videos,  I filled my mind with anything birth related. I tried to keep any thoughts of fear at bay.

Pregnancy flew by. I didn't want it to end. I will always remember how it felt the first time I felt Elliotte wiggle inside me.  I was massaging a client's neck and all of a sudden right below my belly button I felt a twinge. I was 20 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Week by week my body changed. Elliotte grew and developed, the twinges became kicks, the kicks became strong and were visible from the outside, one change blended into the next as our baby grew. I began my maternity leave at 37 weeks pregnant and the three weeks that I spent at home waiting for Ellie will always be a precious memory for me, we walked, we napped, we installed the car seat, went to birth classes, picked up last minute supplies for the birth,  debated name choices and walked some more. 

My due date came and went like any other Sunday. Monday passed and Elliotte didn't move, I kept waiting and waiting to feel her beautiful movements and it never happened. 11:00PM rolled around and I was worried. We called our midwife, she said to go to the hospital. We got to emergency, I was ushered to the front of the line, I guess they all thought I was in labour. We got up into assessments where our midwife met us. She hooked me up to the monitors and we heard the most beautiful sound in the world,  the strong galloping of Elliotte's heartbeat. The midwife sent us home saying that she thought we needed to get some rest since I was in early labour. 

We went to bed and I woke up the next morning feeling better than ever and I was frustrated... why was I not in labour? I was crampy and didn't feel great but not like I thought labour would be. We went to bed Tuesday night annoyed, and then it happened...

...I woke up early Wednesday morning and knew that it was the day. Everything tightened, everything ached, and I was so excited. Now, 3 months later, the memories are hazy. I want to remember every minute, I want to remember every sensation, every thought, but I don't. I remember bits and pieces, I remember watching a comedian and wanting him to just shut up. I remember seeing Ben set up the birth pool and feeling so proud of him. I remember Sharon, our doula, praying for me in her sweet, calm, motherly voice. I remember hating the birth ball and loving the tub. I remember being forced to drink booster juice in between contractions. I remember feeling so proud of my body. I remember seeing one of the midwives sleeping on the couch and feeling bad for all the noise but not being able to control it. I remember the shocking feeling of my water breaking and the intense change in contractions after. I remember the determination I felt when told I had to get out of the pool. I remember pushing whether I felt a contraction or not. I remember the sense of panic when the midwife said to call the ambulance, the pure adrenaline that took over to get Ellie out in that moment, and the relief that flooded me when the midwife calmly said, "never mind, baby is coming". I will never forget the moment that I cried out, "Oh my God, he's here! Thank you God!" I will never forget the love that washed over my little family those first few moments, when no one around us mattered, when the midwives silently checked over my beautiful baby and confirmed that she was perfect, and in fact a girl. I remember being fed apples and crackers and not wanting to eat but realizing how delicious food actually was. I will always remember crawling into bed with my husband and baby, everyone snuggled in, having totally forgotten to call and tell anyone about the life-changing day we had just had, pure bliss.

 

We spent the first week pretty much snuggled up on the couch while friends and family came and went. When Elliotte was 3 days old we walked over to my parents so that she could meet Rose. When she was 5 days old we went to Costco. When she was 8 days we went to Emma lake. The first six weeks was a love filled blur. 

As time has gone on we have gotten to know our little beauty. Elliotte is almost 4 months old, she has a personality, she is an active, determined, smiley, demanding, fast eating, explosive pooping, beautiful little girl.

In the past year I have gone from shock to fear to doubt to nervous excitement to genuine excitement to intense pain to being overcome by the fiercest of loves and that's where I'm stuck...I hope that never changes. 

T.T.F.N...Ta ta for now

Well, it appears that summer is on it's way out. I'm actually not sad to see summer go. I don't hate summer, I enjoy the sun and heat to an extent but autumn is by far my favourite season. I love the changing colours, the way the chilly air turns your cheeks red, The way you're always a little cool unless you're sitting in the sun. Going for walks are the absolute BEST at this time of year and I'm really looking forward to how many we can squeeze in before the snow starts to fall.

I don't know if there are statistics to back this up but it definitely feels like fall is the shortest of the seasons. I know technically speaking all seasons are the same length, however weather wise this sure isn't the case. Here in Saskatchewan, winter is typically the longest, spring maybe the second longest, summer unpredictable and fall lasts maybe a month and a half, enjoy it while it lasts!

Today we enjoyed the afternoon in the park by the river. We had blankets to sit on, music to listen to, a volleyball and frisbee to throw around and friends to share it all with. It was perfect. The sun was shining and yet there was a beautiful breeze to keep things cool.

7 Weeks

Boy am I glad to leave the last week behind. If Ellie wasn't eating, she was crying, luckily this phase only lasted 48 hours. In retrospect I think it's pretty obvious that is was a growth spurt, but boy was that a long 2 days. I now have a lot of sympathy for parents who deal with colicky babies. 

I feel as if we are sliding into a bit of a routine now, although it's definitely not one that I would have designed had I been in charge. Elliotte for the last 4 days has been very alert and awake from about 5:30PM to 1:00AM only sleeping for about 15 minute intervals every 3 hours or so. During this time she likes to eat every 1/2 hour. From 1:00AM to 6:30AM she sleeps like a baby (woohoo!). From 6:30AM to 5:30PM she follows the pattern of eating, then is awake and playful for maybe 1/2 hour then back to sleeps for 3 hours then repeat. This seems to be pretty consistent and to be honest I don't hate it. This pattern allows me to get a lot done during the day and I'm sort of getting used to staying awake till 1:00AM. I'd say the only downside is that when Ben get's home we don't get much time to relax together since this is the time when Ellie is the highest maintenance. Ideally I'd like it if she went down for the night at 8:00ish and then I would just get up and feed her a couple times during the night, but at this stage she calls the shots.

Update Time:

Elliotte's Size:

I feel sort of lost since little E didn't have an appointment this week. I know she's growing though because she is now fitting a few of her 0-3 month onesies and even a couple of the 3 month sleepers. She isn't really filling any of her clothes out widthwise but lengthwise she sure is. I'm excited to see her weight and length in a couple weeks when she'll be 2 months old. 

Post-Pregnancy Me:

Well I'm ashamed to say that I didn't make it to the gym at all this week. My excuse every day was the same, I didn't have any milk pumped and I wouldn't leave her with my mom without an emergency bottle. So, Monday morning first thing I did was pump a bottle, so now I have no excuse and yet I haven't made it....curious. We have gone every day for at least an hour long walk with Ellie in her sling which has been awesome. I especially like going for walks now because of the beautiful fall weather. Next week I'm definitely getting my membership though! 

Life Happenings:

Our evenings have been pretty laid back due to the fact that Elliotte is essentially attached to my body but we have managed to get out a bit. I pumped a bottle for her on her 6 week birthday so Ben and I managed to go on our first date sans baby. The date only lasted about 1 1/2 hours because she drank her bottle and was immediately hungry again, but it was just good to leave her and know that she was safe. I was surprised how safe I felt leaving her with my parents. I was also shocked at how much I missed the little one after only about an hour.

 In the evenings we like to go for walks, mostly because being in the Maya wrap is basically the only way that Ellie will sleep. I have loved having my Maya wrap, I'm not a big fan of strollers, I hate the idea of her being strapped down for so much time, and I love having her so close to my body when she's in the wrap, i can even nurse her while she's in there! I love looking down at her beautiful face and lightly patting her little bum as she gently sways back and forth along with my steps.

Ellie and I have continued to frequent the breastfeeding cafe here in the city and it's something that I look forward to each week. This week we talked about parenting, in specific, things that our parents did that we do and do not appreciate. It was good to actually think about things that that we would like to take from our parents parenting styles and things that we can learn from and do differently.

Weekly Highlight:
Honestly my highlight was probably waking up Saturday morning to a baby who was NOT crying and who appeared to have snapped out of her consistent crying. I was SOO worried that she had developed colic and to see that pass in only a couple days was such a relief. Getting my little girl to smile is probably my daily highlight. It's neat how the little things give me so much joy these days.

She melts my heart...

Little girl, big bed.

The Good Report Take 6

This past week has been the hardest since the babe was born so I guess that means it's time to remember what's good in life! 

• My favourite season of the year is just beginning!
• There is an end in sight regarding my dental problems.
• I get to sleep in my own bed again!
• Netflix has become our best friend, this is mainly due to how many hours a day I spend breastfeeding.
• Our vehicle that hasn't been working since winter is FIXED, and it was CHEEP.
• My parents are only a 20 minute walk from our house. 
• Elliotte will take a bottle, meaning DATE NIGHTS, here we come.
• So thankful for outings and friends so that I'm not at home all day every day. 
• My Maya wrap. Moose falls asleep in it the second I put her in it, this has definitely come in handy.
• My baby is growing slowly and surely, she is healthy.
• I'm still so incredibly thankful for the safe labour and delivery of Elliotte Rose.
• The love I have for my precious daughter. I was so worried that I wouldn't love her, boy was I in for a surprise. 
• Still so thankful for Ben's new job. He likes it so much more than his last.
• The maternity benefits of my country, I feel quite blessed to be able to stay at home for a full year while still getting paid.
• A roof over my head.
• We have so much more than we need, we are so blessed.

Every good and perfect gift is from above.

James 1:17a

Nicknames...

Ellie has been in our lives for 6 1/2 weeks and already we have nicknames coming out left, right and centre. I suppose it's only normal considering Ben and I have about 1000 nicknames for each other. I wanted to compile a list of all the names we have for her, if only to show how ridiculous we are. 

Elliotte AKA:

Elliotte Moose- This name comes from a song that I made up while changing her diaper, we sing it to her all the time. 

Moose/The Moose- Clearly a variation of the previous name.

Ellie- No explanation necessary.
Little E- She is little and her name starts with E (Clever, I know).
The Butt- This one doesn't come across as kind but I promise it's said with all the love in the world. Ben and I have called each other Bum and Butt for years, we even call Rose (the pug) The Butt when she's deserving of the name. I guess it was only fair that Elliotte gets to join in on the fun.

I'm sure the list will continue to grow as more names roll off our tongues. Poor little girl...hehe

6 Weeks.

6 weeks is a bit of a milestone. I can't believe my little moose is 6 weeks old today! We had our FINAL midwife appointment today and I was kind of sad to say goodbye. Now it's back to our regular doctor of whom I have nothing positive to say what-so-ever....hmm maybe it's time to find a new doctor...suggestions?

Last night Elliotte slept from 11PM-5:30AM! Our night was completely glorious! She also slept in her bassinet for most of that time, and believe me that is amazing! I think the key to our success was that when I woke up at 12:30 I fed her while she slept. It was amazing, she actually managed to eat in her sleep! I've read a little bit about 'dream feeding' and since I was awake and she (amazingly) wasn't, I thought it was worth a try. Anyways, the only hitch was that once she woke up at 5:30 she wanted to be up for the day. It took me a good 2 hours of playing and interacting with her before she would go back to sleep. Sometimes I feel a bit like a parental failure since we aren't into a routine yet at 6 weeks, but I'm hoping this is the start of something good. 

Elliotte's Size:

At Ellie's appointment today she weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces. She gained 4.5 ounces this week which is on the low end of normal. She is now measuring 22 3/4in long, and her head circumference is 37cm. As far as percentile's go she is in the 90th for length and the 25th for weight. She is one long skinny girl! Ben and I both have tall and skinny people in our families, so maybe Ellie will take after her aunt or great-grandpa instead of her short parents. 

Post-Pregnancy Me:

Well, today is the day. I'm planning on heading out to the gym later on tonight or possibly tomorrow morning depending on the extent of my laziness. I am SOOO ready to get in shape and I'm ready to start eating healthy. I've been having some pretty major dental issues in the last few months so eating has been next to impossible. I basically eat soft carbs when I do manage to eat and it has been seriously difficult. Hopefully this is all about to change as I've made an appointment for October 1st with my Uncle. I cannot wait to have these dental problems behind me, trust me having two teeth that CONSTANTLY cause pain is not fun. I've even given in on the odd occasion and taken a tylenol which is NOT something that I like to do. 

Life Happenings:

Life is great! Now that Elliotte seems to be sleeping better I feel like a new person. We have been trying to get out lots. We went to a group that meets here in Saskatoon called 'the breastfeeding cafe', the name is misleading seeing as we don't actually just sit around talking about breastfeeding. It's a nifty idea, every week there is a different topic and an expert on that topic comes in to present. It's a great place to discuss your questions and concerns, there are women of all different opinions and stances and it has really helped me in my quest for the type of mother I want to be. 

The past few weeks I've done quite a bit of research into attachment parenting and all that goes along with it. This is a type of parenting that has really appealed to me since it seems to focus so much on the bond between mother and baby. On the other hand I felt kind of like it would be impossible for me to live up to the standards that are set by this model of parenting, i.e. never putting your child down, co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding etc, etc, etc.... I want the option of putting Ellie down so that I can shower, I love sleeping with my baby but honestly I'm terrified of smushing her in my sleep, I want to be able to go on a date with Ben, which would require pumping etc, etc, etc... Anyways, as all of this was causing me to stress out I realized something. I don't HAVE to adhere to every 'rule' of attachment parenting to be a good parent who is attached to her child. I can pump a bottle for my baby, leave her with my parents for two hours and STILL be a good parent (actually this might actually help me be a BETTER parent). Realizing that there is no hard-set rules to parenting has really helped me relax.

  Ok, end rant.

Ellie is still quite the fuss-pott in the evenings which makes group gatherings kind of tricky. I'm hoping as the weeks progress she'll settle down a little as well as us becoming more in tune to what's bothering her. Usually it's just hunger and I'm assuming she's cluster feeding so that she can last those longer stretches at night, if that's it than bring it on! I welcome anything that helps her sleep longer at night.

Weekly Highlight:

This past Sunday a few of my dear friends threw Ellie and I a beautiful shower. It was Dr. Seuss themed and they went above and beyond in decorations, food and games. Elliotte got so many cute clothes and books, I can't wait to put her in them. The only downside is that we now have a room that is literally FILLED with things that I have to somehow organize, good thing I have a year at home to do it! 

Peeking in at Elliotte while she swings around in her sling.

Loving this girl's smile!

5 Weeks.

So sorry that our update is pretty late this week but better late than never, right?! As I sit here typing, Elliotte is eating away so I figure if I can master the art of typing while breastfeeding I may end up being WAY more diligent with posting.

These are glorious days! I feel like Elliotte and I are in a bit of a babymoon. This first month reminds me of what it was like falling in love with Ben, I never tire of staring at her, kissing her, holding her all day long and although she sometimes cries for no apparent reason I love her, I have never felt so 100% obsessed with someone (Ben is a close second). I just can't get over the fact that Ben and I made this little person. I grew her inside of me without even having to think about it! I never shared on the blog and it's just a little too personal to get into details here but she truly is a miracle baby in every sense of the word and I'm baffled at how she came to be. I thank God for her every day, she truly is a gift from him.

Elliotte's Size:
As of Monday (4 weeks 5 days old) Ellie weighed 9 pounds 5.5 ounces, up 7 ounces from the week before. I find it so crazy to think that some people actually give birth to babies already this size. She seems so big to me and I guess compared to her birth weight she is, even though compared to some she's still quite small.

Post-Pregnancy Me:
Well, only a few more days till I throw myself into getting on track with my health. I have been thinking about how I'd like to be eating now that I'm no longer pregnant and even though I don't have to watch my blood sugar as closely I do want to be very conscientious of what I eat since I'm breastfeeding. I also want to get in shape not to mention live a long healthy life...more on this later! As far as fitness goes I plan on getting a gym membership next Wednesday. We'll see how often i can get away, I'm really looking forward to just a couple hours here and there for exercise, it has been too long.

Life Happenings:
Elliotte and I have been getting out and about almost every day. I think it's important for me to get out of the house to keep me sane. I'm lucky that we have a girl who likes her carseat. In the evenings we like to stay home and relax mainly because evenings aren't so great for Ellie, she seems to just be fussy all evening and it's difficult to know what she needs, as soon as she starts to shriek we go through the checklist of what's bothering her and typically she just wants to be rocked.

Weekly Highlight:
Last Sunday my sister-in-law and a couple of my aunties threw Ellie and I a shower. It was so beautiful and we felt so incredibly loved and blessed by all the gifts. Elliotte has pretty much an entire room filled to the brim with clothes, books, blankets and stuffed animals. I'm really looking forward to when she's more interactive. I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy every minute of who she is right now. They really do grow up too fast.

A picture of my sleeping beauty.

And here is Elliotte wide eyed and staring. She's really becoming her own little person these days.

4 Weeks.

After 28 days of being a mom and I would say that we're starting to get into a routine. Spending my days with Elliotte is pretty great I would have to say, however there is one thing that has been kind of difficult, it appears that little Elliotte has a good ol' fashioned case of colic. For the last 2 weeks she's been really fussy and cranky from about midnight to 5AM. This is one thing that I wished she hadn't gotten from me (I was colicky for the first 4 months of my life) but I guess it's something that we will power through, it's just so hard to see her cry and cry without being able to do much to help her. 

In other more exciting news, Elliotte has a middle name and is officially registered as a Canadian citizen. Her name is..... Elliotte Rose Chamagne. We have liked Rose as a middle name since we picked her first name however since Rose is the name of our dog we didn't think we could subject our baby to the same name. After 4 weeks of trying to find another name we decided that Rose was the perfect fit and hey, the dog won't live forever!

In even more exciting news Elliotte smiled this last week! Her first official smile was when she was 3 weeks and 1 day old and it was at her dad. Her whole face lit up and since then we've gotten smiles from her on a regular basis, it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen! 

Updates Time:

Elliotte's Size:
Surprisingly, Elliotte only gained 4 ounces this week, weighing in at 8 pounds 14 ounce. It looks like she didn't have her growth spurt this week so I'm thinking she might have had it one week early which would explain the 10 ounce gain last week. I'm trying not to obsess over all these little things since there is such wide range of normal. I have to remind myself of this about 15 times a day.

Post-Pregnancy Symptoms:
I think this is my last week with this update since I don't really have any symptoms anymore. I went on a 1.5 hour walk the other day and was kind of sore after so I guess I'm either not fully healed or just really out of shape. Only 2 more weeks till I go back to the gym.

Life Happenings:
Elliotte and I have had lots of outings this last week. We have been going out for coffee, walks and shopping with friends. I'm trying to make sure we get out lots. The thought of spending all day every day at home alone scares me but I think I'm going to have to slow down a bit.

Weekly Highlight:
Ellie and I hung out with our friend Meagan this week. We put Ellie in her sling walked the bridges, she slept the whole walk despite the rain, it was absolutely perfect!


I love just sitting and staring at her while she sleeps, my little angel!

I bought the cutest baby book ever, I can't wait to fill it out.

One more for good measure.

2 Weeks

I can hardly believe that it's been 2 weeks since little Ellie was born. I have been amazed at how our life was transformed overnight. We went from only having to worry about ourselves to only caring about her, all in an instant. I care so much about her. I constantly wonder if she's comfortable, if she's getting enough milk, if she has gas, the list goes on...I can't believe the responsibility that was just handed to us  when she was born, it is our job to make sure she's safe, she is ours and honestly it kind of scares me. 

The first week was pretty easy actually. Ellie slept pretty much 20 hours a day and only woke up to eat. The second week has been a little harder. I developed a plugged duct which brought with it a fever and pretty much all other flu symptoms and to make matters worse Ellie was fussy and barely slept at all for two days. Luckily things seem to be getting better now. I feel 80% better and Ellie seems to be back to sleeping and is no longer in constant pain.  

Now for some updates:

Ellie's Size:

Ellie weighed 8lbs and 1/2oz at 12 days. It looks like she has gained exactly 1lb since birth! She is definitely filling out, I swear she grew a double chin over night. I suppose her constant eating is working.

Post-Pregnancy Symptoms:

Well, as much as I enjoyed being pregnant it sure feels good to NOT be pregnant. Every day I feel more like my old self. I was a little surprised that after giving birth your body is a bit of a mess. I don't know why I didn't expect it, but boy was I in for a treat...Luckily after 2 weeks I'm feeling more or less like my old self again.

Life Happenings:

Oh you know, feeding, changing diapers, burping, the occasional cat nap, eating when I remember to, and quite honestly not much more. 

Weekly Highlight:

Over the weekend we went up to Emma Lake with all of Ben's coworkers. I was really nervous about going with a week and a half old baby but my fear was all in vain because everything worked out great! Ellie did amazingly and it was really nice to make new friends not to mention not having to cook for 3 days.

Here's my little 2 week old.

Elliotte's Birth Story

I don't exactly know how this is going to go, the entire day is quite a blur in my mind. There are large chunks of the day that I don't remember at all so I may end up getting some help from Ben in remembering bits and pieces.  

Elliotte's Birth Day

 I woke up at 4:30 AM on August 8th to a painful contraction. It's funny how for so many weeks I had been wondering if every tightening of my belly was 'the real thing' and when 'the real thing' finally hit I just knew. After the first contraction I waited and sure enough ten minutes later I felt another one. I knew at this point that sleep was the most important thing to get so I tried going back to sleep. It became clear to me when seven minutes later another contraction hit that sleep wasn't going to be happening. I thought if I had a bath maybe it would slow the contractions down so that I could sleep some more, however, getting in the tub didn't slow anything down and I started having contractions every five minutes. As soon as I got out of the bath I knew that I should eat something, although I had no appetite whatsoever. I jumped in the car and drove to Tim Hortons where I picked up a bagel. It was super inconvenient that we had no food in the house but I knew I needed some complex carbs so I went anyways. 

Once I got home contractions were consistently three to five minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds, walking around was the best way to cope at this point. I pretty much paced and breathed for the next hour. At six Ben woke up and came out of the bedroom to see me pacing the living room. I told him that I thought this was 'it' but that he should go to work since I figured I could use some alone time and promised to text when I needed him to come home. 

Here are a series of the texts that we sent back and forth during the short 2 hours that Ben was at work. It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't want to be alone.

 At one point the contractions slowed to about 6 minutes apart and I thought I should walk the dog. Luckily, the next contraction ended up being pretty intense and I decided against it. This was the beginning of an increase in intensity.

At 8:30AM I told Ben that he needed to come home because I was needing him. That 40 minute drive for him to come home felt like forever. At this point I was coping with contractions by sitting on the exercise ball and leaning on the couch. I was already moaning through the pains and I realized that I wouldn't be the silent, graceful labouring woman that I had hoped I would be....

When Ben got home from work I set him to work right away putting the birth pool together. Once the pool was set up I figured it was time to call the doula to let her know that we would hopefully be needing her within the next hours. I called her and said that we would most likely want her to come around 11AM. After calling the doula we called the midwife who said she would be over in an hour. She came at 10:30AM and checked me. She wouldn't tell me how dilated I was but she said I was 100% effaced so I knew that my body had done SOMETHING in the last 6 hours. After some investigating I got the midwife to say that I wasn't in active labour yet (according to dilation, although according to the frequency of my contractions I was) and she left saying to call her when things kicked up a notch. 

Here is the last smiling picture of me pregnant. This was taken at about 9:30AM while Ben was setting up the pool. 

The next few hours Ben and I spent alone, he talked me through contractions, practiced his Norwegian lessons...(he's taking an online Norwegian course) and even slept for a bit while I sat, walked or did whatever it took to cope with the contractions. At one point we actually watched a stand up comedian on Netflix, I can't say that I paid much attention. I do remember feeling like by this point the contractions were pretty intense and they were definitely close together (2-3 minutes apart), little did I know how intense they were going to get.

At about 2PM I said that it was time to call our doula. I thought I was coping well, but I knew that things had kicked it up a notch and Ben was definitely more comfortable having someone else there. She got there half an hour later and the instant she walked into our house she came over to me and began breathing with me. When she got there I realized how poorly I had actually been coping and it was so helpful having someone there to help Ben know what to do. Breathing was something that I really needed help with during labour and from the moment she got there until our Ellie was born she breathed through every contraction with me, 'in through the nose out through the mouth', I probably heard those words over 300 times during the course of the day. It was SO hard to breath in, but breathing out felt amazing. After only a few minutes of being with us our doula realized that I wasn't coping very well in my current position and suggested labouring in the bathroom. We got upstairs and I sat backwards on the toilet leaning on a pillow. This was actually an extremely comfortable position. I had shooting pains down the sides of my legs during every contraction and the only way that I could handle it was having our doula apply pressure to the sides of my legs while Ben would push on my low back which was aching like crazy, then in between contractions one of them would stroke my upper back while the other stuck a straw of water or a Booster Juice in my mouth and demand that I drink. By this point I had lost any concept of time. I remember even asking what time it was and our doula saying that time didn't matter, I'm grateful now for that because if I had been counting the hours I would have gotten really discouraged.

At one point I got in the bathtub. It felt AMAZING. I wouldn't say that the water decreased my contraction pain at all, but being able to float really helped the pain in the sides of my legs and my low back. Eventually while in the tub I said that I wanted to call the midwife. Ben or the doula must have called her because I definitely didn't. The midwife that showed up was not my regular midwife as my primary midwife was with another patient and would be showing up a little later. I LOVED this midwife though. She came into the bathroom, explained everything she was doing really well and made me feel instantly comfortable around her even though I didn't know her. I asked her to check me and she said that I was 5 centimetres, close to 6. At this point I also demanded that Ben tell me the time, so I know that this was at 5PM. Now looking back I'm surprised that I wasn't more discouraged that after 12 hours of labour I was only half way there, but I wasn't. I hardly even thought about how much was left to go, I was just so amazed that my body had worked so hard and had gotten to 5 centimetres on it's own! At one point in the bath tub I projectile vomited my booster juice all over, REALLY classy! After this cute little episode it was advised that I get out of the tub. I wasn't super interested in remaining steeped in my own vomit anyways. 

I got out of the tub and if I remember correctly the birth pool was filled but the water was too warm so I had to manage some contractions on dry land. This was AWFUL. My primary midwife showed up at this point and yet I don't remember much of her. She would come check the baby's heart rate every 15 minutes or so and otherwise was sitting writing who knows what. Finally the pool was ready and I got to climb in. Once again I had NO concept of time so I can't tell you what time I got in or what time I got out. In my mind I was only in the tub for about 10 minutes but Ben assures me that it was a couple hours at least. It was while I was in the pool that I entered transition....Now for people who are not well versed in labour and the natural progression of things I will fill you in. Transition is by far the hardest part of labour. It spans the time that your cervix opens from 7 centimetres to 10 centimetres. In my case I was blessed with contractions one on top of another all through transition, just as a contraction would start to ease up another one would come. I dry heaved and my whole body shook through every contraction which makes trying to breath mighty hard. I BEGGED for an epidural, a c-section, and to be driven to the hospital. Let me just interject how impressed I am with Ben, even though I was thrashing about, he stayed right there with me holding a cold cloth on my neck and forehead, telling me how proud he was of me, and all while I behaved like a wild beast! 

During this horrible, horrible point I was checked a couple times and it seemed like there was a bit of cervix that just wouldn't open. I was feeling quite a bit of pressure with each contraction (a sign that I was ready to push) but unless I was fully dilated Elliotte would not be able to pass through.The midwife suggested getting out of the tub to try some different positions to help finish the process. I hated her for making me get out, but oh well, it had to be done. Eventually the midwife suggested she try to help me stretch the rest of the way. Now I'm sorry if this is too graphic but oh well, no one is making you read this! So during a contraction she reaches up and tries to manually stretch the cervix, she had to do this 4 or 5 times (ouch) and eventually it worked and I was ready to push out my baby! 

Since we were planning a water birth I hobbled back over to the pool and got in. What happened next is a blur. The midwife was checking Elliotte's heart rate during every contraction and after only a couple contractions it was obvious that she wasn't doing well. I was told to get out of the tub right then and I was moved over to the couch.  After 25 minutes of pushing the one midwife told the other to call the ambulance, Elliotte's heart rate was still not doing as well after contractions as it should and they were anticipating that I would be pushing for a while still. On the next contraction I used every ounce of strength that I had left and on Wednesday, August 8th at 11:24PM out she came! She came out with her little fist up by her head which is why her heart rate kept dropping. I ended up with a tiny tear and 2 stitches which was not bad at all. 

Elliotte was the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. For the first 10 minutes of her life we just stared at her in awe. We didn't even look to see whether we had a girl or a boy. After the most amazing shower in the whole world I joined my new family and climbed into bed where we spent the next few hours finding out all we could about our little Ellie. She was 7 pounds 1/2 ounce and 20 inches long, absolutely perfect.

Giving birth was the hardest thing that I've ever done but it was so worth it! I can't believe how intense the contractions were and how strong a woman's body is. I just can't believe that she's here! 

Moments after she was born.

Ben holding his daughter for the first time.

A new family!

She was so alert and just stared at us with her beautiful big eyes.

40 Weeks/Full Term!

I can't believe it! The due date is here, the day that has been spinning through my head for close to a year has finally arrived. Still no sign of a baby. Now the baby truly can come whenever he or she decides to, after today I'm considered 'over due' dundundunnnnn.... I think I've finally reached the point of feeling done and wanting this baby out more than in. 

Size:

Well our baby is now the size of a pumpkin...oh dear. Most babies born at this stage are somewhere between 5 lbs and 9 lbs, I'm assuming our baby is right in the middle there somewhere, I guess we'll see! The average length for a baby is 20 inches. All the cooking is done and now we just make sure the baby is still doing ok and wait...

Pregnancy Symptoms:

Night time has become my enemy. Last night I totalled 3 hours of sleep... It's the most bizarre thing, I lie in bed totally awake, I have NEVER had this problem before, I have no idea what it is but it's driving me slightly crazy. Maybe today I'll skip the nap and see if I can sleep from the sheer exhaustion. 

I'm getting slightly more crampy and my back is kinda getting sore but otherwise still feel great. I'm still trying to get in at least an hours long walk a day and I'm sure that's contributing to the back pain, but if it's going to prepare my body for labour then BRING IT ON. I also actually really enjoy walking, it always brings the Braxton hicks contractions on hardcore which makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something, who knows...

Oh and let's not forget peeing 200 times a day, I wish I was exaggerating....moving on...

I'll skip all the nasty specific little details of my midwife appointment (this IS the internet after all) but I will say that she said everything looks 'ready to go'. I still don't feel like labour is right around the corner or anything but it's good to know my body is getting ready even if I'm not....

Life Happenings:

Just waiting for the baby and doing everything that we normally do. Ben has been in denial that the baby can technically come anytime. Every time I've mentioned that "maybe this is it" (25000 times per day) he always says "nonsense, it's not even your due date yet". Now he can't say that anymore so maybe he'll have to believe me!

Every night I imagine that 'this will be the night', I don't know why I'm so set on going into labour in the middle of the night.... once again I suppose we'll just have to wait and see... 

I'm getting mighty sick of these updates, I'm looking forward to being able to actually update WITH PICTURES OF A BABY... it is what all this hullaballoo has been about!    

This week I went for a 'labour walk' with my cousin who was due a week and a half before me. She finished the walk off with a castor oil cocktail. Now if you're not aware castor oil has been known to naturally induce labour, however the side effects can be less than desirable, but when you're overdue and desperate I guess you take the good with the very very bad. Anyhoo, she took this cocktail and voila 4 hours later her water broke and 6 hours later her baby girl was born. I must admit that the thought of trying the concoction has entered my mind periodically since her successful experience... We'll see how desperate I'll get...

Weekly Highlight:

I don't know if I have highlights anymore. Every day is just 24 hours of wondering if the sensations I'm feeling are labour. I suppose my naps have been pretty dang good lately.

40 weeks! 

38 Weeks!

Well, still pregnant and very much ok with that! 

Size:

At this stage babies differ so much in size and all that but our little leek should be somewhere between 6lbs  9oz to 7lbs. He or she is also somewhere near 20inches long. Still putting on weight and developing that brain! 

Pregnancy Symptoms:

Still getting lots of practice contractions. We've been diligent to take a walk every day and boy does walking sure bring them on. Even though the Braxton Hicks are strong, I do realize that I could have upwards of 4 weeks of this left and that wouldn't really be all that bad, the more practice I get, the more ready my body will be for the real showdown! 

I think I'm also experiencing a little bit of pregnancy insomnia. I don't even like using that word because it sounds so serious, in actuality it just takes me a while to fall asleep. I'm used to being asleep BEFORE my head hits the pillow and for the last 3-4 days I lie awake for about an hour. I have no idea what causes this, I'm not uncomfortable or anything, perhaps it's my body prepping itself for being up all night long in a few short weeks. 

At my midwife appointment this week she said the baby is even more stuck down in place and that there was no 'wiggle room' which I guess is a good thing... It sure explains why every time I stand up I feel immense pressure...oh the joys of pregnancy! 

Life Happenings:

Life has been absolutely perfect lately! I love the summer weather. I love that Ben and I get the full weekend off together now! (probably the first time that this will be a regular occurrence since we DATED!) It's so nice having him home at 6ish every day. We have been taking advantage of all the free time knowing that it won't last long, so it's been date night for us almost every day, even if that's just watching a movie at home or taking Rose to the dog park.

I feel like I'm finally ready for this baby to come if he or she chooses to now. I have all the things ready for the birth and all the clothes washed and ready to go on a beautiful little body. I've collected the diapers that we're going to use and hopefully someone can show us how they work because I'm not creative enough to know how to transform a big rectangle of material into a diaper... Ahh all the learning that we're about to experience! 

Weekly Highlight:

One of these days my weekly highlight is going to be having a baby but for now it's not quite as interesting. This week it was going to the new Batman with Ben on Saturday. I was kinda dreading it because I knew it was 3 hours long and I always seem to end up feeling disappointed in movies that get so much hype, but it was actually good! We went to the noon showing which was nice in itself. We got up, had a little breakfast, parked on the other side of the bridge and made a little walk out of going to the theatre. Then after the three hours of decent entertainment we still had hours of sunlight left! Maybe I'm just so used to working Saturday but boy did this past Saturday just feel SOOO long and perfect! I can't wait for a full year of Saturdays spent with Ben and Rose and our little baby! 

Here is the 38 week bump! Still growing by the day!

A lovely picture of Ben on one of our beautiful Summer dates!

I painted my toenails pink and blue so that while I'm pushing I can look down and gather some extra strength knowing that in a few short minutes we'll know what this little baby is! 

Only a few of these updates left at the most! 

35 Weeks!

So, I have had this ready since Sunday but had no belly picture. I still have no belly picture and since it's already Wednesday I'll just post the update and add a picture when there is one to add. 


Size:

Our honeydew melon is roughly 5lbs 4oz and measuring around 18 inches long. The kidneys are fully developed and the liver has already started processing waste products. All of the basic physical development are mostly complete, all that's left is putting on weight and maybe some maturation of the lungs! How cool!

Pregnancy Symptoms:

Well I made it July still wearing my rings! I know it's not important but it was a little goal I made for myself and I like to achieve my goals (even when I don't have any control over what's happening...)! 

Still feeling lots of movement. I know movement is supposed to start decreasing slightly in the upcoming weeks, but so far it's still pretty hardcore. There are times that I literally could grab onto what I'm assuming is a foot sticking out my side. I can't believe that there are only a few weeks left until this little baby will be wiggling around and kicking on the outside...crazy...

I still feel really great. I do think that the baby has dropped slightly because Ben seems to think that I now have a pronounced waddle and I do feel a bit like a duck when I'm walking around. Breathing has also become somewhat easier, so I'm sure the baby isn't pushing up on my diaphragm like he or she was in the past. 

Another notable change are these Braxton Hicks contractions. They used to come a few times a day and weren't very intense, now they seem to be pretty constant and can almost be considered painful at times. Hopefully this means that they are doing something and preparing my body for real labour which will most likely happen anytime between 2-7 weeks from now! (I'm hoping for closer to the 7 weeks) woohoo.

Life Happenings:

Only 2 more weeks of work. That's 8 shifts and 66 massages!!! I'm getting as close to counting down the seconds as someone can get without literally doing it. I just can't wait to be off work so that I can have an afternoon nap, it seems every day around 2PM I just NEED to lie down for a bit, I'm definitely looking forward to being able to have those naps in just a couple weeks!

We met with our doula today and it was pretty exciting just talking over all the things that are going to be happening. I feel so blessed to be able to have this amazing women join us in our adventure. I trust her whole heartedly and I know Ben feels good knowing that there's another set of hands that will be there to help out. I've known her my whole life and there is no one else I'd rather have join us (along with the medical professionals as well of course). 

Speaking of medical professionals, we now have weekly appointments with our midwife. It seems pretty crazy that there are only roughly 5 more appointments left! 

Our birth classes are going really well, every week we get more and more prepared and it's nice to get together with other people that are going through the same things that we are, not to mention it helps to see a bunch of pregnant women, I don't feel so huge and awkward when I'm around them. At our last class we watched an extremely graphic video of women giving birth squatting and I think it traumatized Ben a little...He was such a good sport though and managed to watch the whole thing without looking away, I was very proud. :)

Ben has been working like crazy lately. Usually 12 hours a day at least, he's still wrapping up his painting jobs as well as working more than full time plumbing, he's even going in on weekends. I can't wait to have him home at a decent hour and for him to not be so overworked. I am proud of how hard he works though!
I finally feel like we're getting things that we need, slowly and steadily.

Weekly Highlight:
This week was fairly uneventful. Last Monday I had a girls night with some friends which was really pleasant! A couple of the girls I don't get to see very often, and it was nice to spend an evening catching up. Good friends are so important and I feel lucky to have the ones that I do! 

The Good Report Take 5

So today I'm not really in the mood to write a good report but I suppose the days that you don't want to be thankful are the ones that we really should try. Here goes!

• Ben got an unexpected day off today so it looks like we get to spend the day together! 
• The bassinet is set up and ready for a little baby, I can't believe that something is actually done!
• The weather is absolutely perfect today, 18 degrees and sunny with a nice breeze.
• My cousin found sugar free popsicles for me and they taste amazing! I've been indulging like crazy!
• It's almost JULY!
• The horrible humidity we had earlier on in the week seems to be gone, thank God! 
• Now that the humidity has subsided so has my swelling.
• I only have 9 more shifts of work left, I couldn't be more excited to be done.
• We have been down a vehicle for the past few days but my mom has been such a help with giving me rides.
• Still loving all the movement I get to feel throughout the day, what a treat.
• Starting to feel prepared now that we are full swing into our birth classes and we have appointments more often with either the midwife or our doula.
• So thankful for every good night sleep that I get! 

That's all I can muster for the day but it sure does help to focus on the good. I'm off to enjoy this beautiful day! 

The Good Report Take 4

Today's good report is dedicated to my dear husband Ben in honour of this week being our anniversary. I will have no problem whatsoever coming up with a list about him! 

• Ben is such a hard worker. For example he will be working 15(!) hour days the next 5 days, including the weekend! 
• He takes his role of providing for us very seriously.
• He cares about his friends.
• He loves animals so incredibly much, he could just sit holding Rose for hours and hours.
• He's nifty with tools and can fix things, he fixed our bed and made it good as new!
• He's willing and seems excited about attending our birth class.
• He enjoys going with me to my midwife appointments and is sad when he has to miss one. 
• He is tender hearted.
• He likes spending time outdoors.
• He likes spending time with me. 
• He has big dreams
• He is generous. 
• He is stylish :)
• He is kind.
• He can be quiet in a group, he only says something that's worth saying.
• He enjoys spending time with my family.
• He is thoughtful.
• He is gentle. 

I could go on and on and on...
I love him!


xoxoxoxox

2 Years...

Monday was our 2 year anniversary. It's hard to believe that it's been 2 years. Time has flown by in a sense and yet it feels like we've been together for forever. So far I can honestly say that each year has gotten better and better. I'm excited for that trend to continue. This upcoming year we are sure in for some changes, I can't wait wait to see where we're at next year.

33 Weeks!

Size:

Our PINEAPPLE(!) is weighing about 4lbs 6oz and is roughly 17inches long!!! All of a sudden that feels really heavy and really long! You hear of babies being born that size... Developmentally the little one is still just growing and filling out, I'm pretty excited to see the chubby little guy or girl in roughly 7 weeks! eeeeek!!!

Pregnancy Symptoms:
Pretty much just growing and growing. The movements feel more and more like this babe is trying to stretch his or her way out not as much like kicks or punches anymore. I'm still really comfortable and not having much notable pain, something I am so thankful for! I really hope that this keeps up and that my being able to sleep keeps up too, it feels so great to have undisturbed sleep, I don't know how some women cope with life when they can't sleep but have to work and keep up with life.

Life Happenings:
 We started our childbirth education class last week and I'm pretty excited to see what we'll learn over the next 9 weeks. Ben is pretty excited too, I think he is ready to feel like he's prepared for what's going to happen in a very short time....I sure hope that I get to the point of feeling prepared as well...I suppose you can only prepare to a certain extent and then you just have to go with it.
Ben hurt his knee on Sunday playing basketball and has been confined to the couch. He has a chronic recurring knee problem that he really needs to go for surgery for. It's usually pretty ok but every once in a while he tweaks it and misses a day of work or so, it's the pits. I feel so badly for him. I had to help carry him into the house, probably not the best thing for 7 1/2 month pregnant girl to do. Hopefully he'll be feeling better sooner rather than later.
On a totally different note, only 4 more weeks of work, that's 132 massages and 16 shifts! I can't believe how quickly everything is going. It's going to be hard to say goodbye to my clients but I really am looking forward to a year off, especially since I hopefully get to spend that year with a precious little baby! My due date is less than 50 days away now. I'm still waiting for time to slow down, but it just doesn't seem to want to.

Weekly Highlight:
Spending father's day evening with my dad on Sunday was so great. I feel so blessed to have a man in my life like him. He is so wise, has more integrity than any man I know and took raising us kids VERY seriously! I love how he loves being outdoors, going for canoeing, camping and hiking trips, he stays active, and is an incredibly hard worker. I couldn't imagine how I would have turned out without his guiding me. I hope I get to spend many more father's days with him!

33 weeks.

The cake I made for my dad for father's day. It was a buttermilk, red velvet cake with cream cheese icing. I even had some...it was sooo worth it!

  

32 Weeks!

Size:

Our coconut is now weighing around 3 lbs 9 ounces and is roughly 16.5 inches in length. Can you believe that at this point our baby has started growing hair on their little head?! I'm curious to see how much he or she has at birth. Both Ben and I were pretty bald so I'm not banking on much. It is also interesting to note that if this little one is a boy his testicles have or are currently making their descent into the scrotum....neat fact... They also say that babies born at this point in pregnancy have a  really good chance of survival and usually grow up with minimal side effects from their early arrival. Of course I'd still be more comfortable with another 8 or so weeks of baking this little bun. Who knows what the future holds! 

Pregnancy Symptoms:

Still feeling fabulous! Breathing is getting a little more cumbersome, I'm looking forward to this little one dropping a little and relieving the pressure on my diaphragm.
I had another midwife appointment this week and everything looks great, baby is still head down, at this point the midwife said that it is possible but highly unlikely that the baby will flip. So it looks like the baby is set and ready to go. Only a few more appointments before this baby will be here!
Had another appointment with the dietitian again and everything is still going well. I feel so lucky that I've been able to control this through diet. I even allowed myself to cheat tonight when Ben and I were out on a date night and had ice cream and my sugars were still within the normal range!
Movement is still getting stronger and stronger. It's even slightly painful every once and a while, still the coolest feeling in the world!!!


Life Happenings:
Only 5 more weeks of work left! That's 20 shifts, 165 massages! I'm now starting to really really look forward to being off work. During this past week I got to the point where I just felt ready to be done.
Ben is one week into his new job and he is loving it! He has worked overtime every day so far but it's really nice that he has steady work, he actually appreciates the extra hours. I do hope overtime won't continue forever though, the poor guy will tire himself out. He's out the door by 6:30am and I'm lucky if he's home by 6:00pm.
We haven't had much time for much other than work lately. Ben has been pretty sore and calloused from all the new things that he has to do for work so we've been taking it easy and going to bed nice and early, I love it!

Weekly Highlight:
I have really enjoyed my morning routine that I blogged about here. It feels really good getting up and not feeling rushed.
Also the ice cream I had tonight was AMAZING!

Here is the 32 week belly!

This week I thought I'd show you a different view as well. As you can see it's slightly uneven. THe baby is mainly lying on the right side, it's definitely where I feel the majority of the movement.