T.T.F.N...Ta ta for now

Well, it appears that summer is on it's way out. I'm actually not sad to see summer go. I don't hate summer, I enjoy the sun and heat to an extent but autumn is by far my favourite season. I love the changing colours, the way the chilly air turns your cheeks red, The way you're always a little cool unless you're sitting in the sun. Going for walks are the absolute BEST at this time of year and I'm really looking forward to how many we can squeeze in before the snow starts to fall.

I don't know if there are statistics to back this up but it definitely feels like fall is the shortest of the seasons. I know technically speaking all seasons are the same length, however weather wise this sure isn't the case. Here in Saskatchewan, winter is typically the longest, spring maybe the second longest, summer unpredictable and fall lasts maybe a month and a half, enjoy it while it lasts!

Today we enjoyed the afternoon in the park by the river. We had blankets to sit on, music to listen to, a volleyball and frisbee to throw around and friends to share it all with. It was perfect. The sun was shining and yet there was a beautiful breeze to keep things cool.

Sometimes...

Sometimes I feel like the worst mother in the world. I feel like no matter how much research I do, I still make the wrong decision. I question everything I do, do I hold her enough, does she get enough tummy time, is she lying on her back to much, is she in her car seat for too many hours a day, am I changing her diaper often enough, am I too uptight, am I too laid back....blah...blah...blah. It's all a bunch of useless gibberish. I know in my head that all of this worrying is a waste of time and I know that no one is perfect, it's just that I feel like I'm working on the most important assignment that I will ever do and I really want to do well. How's that for vulnerability. 

7 Weeks

Boy am I glad to leave the last week behind. If Ellie wasn't eating, she was crying, luckily this phase only lasted 48 hours. In retrospect I think it's pretty obvious that is was a growth spurt, but boy was that a long 2 days. I now have a lot of sympathy for parents who deal with colicky babies. 

I feel as if we are sliding into a bit of a routine now, although it's definitely not one that I would have designed had I been in charge. Elliotte for the last 4 days has been very alert and awake from about 5:30PM to 1:00AM only sleeping for about 15 minute intervals every 3 hours or so. During this time she likes to eat every 1/2 hour. From 1:00AM to 6:30AM she sleeps like a baby (woohoo!). From 6:30AM to 5:30PM she follows the pattern of eating, then is awake and playful for maybe 1/2 hour then back to sleeps for 3 hours then repeat. This seems to be pretty consistent and to be honest I don't hate it. This pattern allows me to get a lot done during the day and I'm sort of getting used to staying awake till 1:00AM. I'd say the only downside is that when Ben get's home we don't get much time to relax together since this is the time when Ellie is the highest maintenance. Ideally I'd like it if she went down for the night at 8:00ish and then I would just get up and feed her a couple times during the night, but at this stage she calls the shots.

Update Time:

Elliotte's Size:

I feel sort of lost since little E didn't have an appointment this week. I know she's growing though because she is now fitting a few of her 0-3 month onesies and even a couple of the 3 month sleepers. She isn't really filling any of her clothes out widthwise but lengthwise she sure is. I'm excited to see her weight and length in a couple weeks when she'll be 2 months old. 

Post-Pregnancy Me:

Well I'm ashamed to say that I didn't make it to the gym at all this week. My excuse every day was the same, I didn't have any milk pumped and I wouldn't leave her with my mom without an emergency bottle. So, Monday morning first thing I did was pump a bottle, so now I have no excuse and yet I haven't made it....curious. We have gone every day for at least an hour long walk with Ellie in her sling which has been awesome. I especially like going for walks now because of the beautiful fall weather. Next week I'm definitely getting my membership though! 

Life Happenings:

Our evenings have been pretty laid back due to the fact that Elliotte is essentially attached to my body but we have managed to get out a bit. I pumped a bottle for her on her 6 week birthday so Ben and I managed to go on our first date sans baby. The date only lasted about 1 1/2 hours because she drank her bottle and was immediately hungry again, but it was just good to leave her and know that she was safe. I was surprised how safe I felt leaving her with my parents. I was also shocked at how much I missed the little one after only about an hour.

 In the evenings we like to go for walks, mostly because being in the Maya wrap is basically the only way that Ellie will sleep. I have loved having my Maya wrap, I'm not a big fan of strollers, I hate the idea of her being strapped down for so much time, and I love having her so close to my body when she's in the wrap, i can even nurse her while she's in there! I love looking down at her beautiful face and lightly patting her little bum as she gently sways back and forth along with my steps.

Ellie and I have continued to frequent the breastfeeding cafe here in the city and it's something that I look forward to each week. This week we talked about parenting, in specific, things that our parents did that we do and do not appreciate. It was good to actually think about things that that we would like to take from our parents parenting styles and things that we can learn from and do differently.

Weekly Highlight:
Honestly my highlight was probably waking up Saturday morning to a baby who was NOT crying and who appeared to have snapped out of her consistent crying. I was SOO worried that she had developed colic and to see that pass in only a couple days was such a relief. Getting my little girl to smile is probably my daily highlight. It's neat how the little things give me so much joy these days.

She melts my heart...

Little girl, big bed.

The Good Report Take 6

This past week has been the hardest since the babe was born so I guess that means it's time to remember what's good in life! 

• My favourite season of the year is just beginning!
• There is an end in sight regarding my dental problems.
• I get to sleep in my own bed again!
• Netflix has become our best friend, this is mainly due to how many hours a day I spend breastfeeding.
• Our vehicle that hasn't been working since winter is FIXED, and it was CHEEP.
• My parents are only a 20 minute walk from our house. 
• Elliotte will take a bottle, meaning DATE NIGHTS, here we come.
• So thankful for outings and friends so that I'm not at home all day every day. 
• My Maya wrap. Moose falls asleep in it the second I put her in it, this has definitely come in handy.
• My baby is growing slowly and surely, she is healthy.
• I'm still so incredibly thankful for the safe labour and delivery of Elliotte Rose.
• The love I have for my precious daughter. I was so worried that I wouldn't love her, boy was I in for a surprise. 
• Still so thankful for Ben's new job. He likes it so much more than his last.
• The maternity benefits of my country, I feel quite blessed to be able to stay at home for a full year while still getting paid.
• A roof over my head.
• We have so much more than we need, we are so blessed.

Every good and perfect gift is from above.

James 1:17a

Nicknames...

Ellie has been in our lives for 6 1/2 weeks and already we have nicknames coming out left, right and centre. I suppose it's only normal considering Ben and I have about 1000 nicknames for each other. I wanted to compile a list of all the names we have for her, if only to show how ridiculous we are. 

Elliotte AKA:

Elliotte Moose- This name comes from a song that I made up while changing her diaper, we sing it to her all the time. 

Moose/The Moose- Clearly a variation of the previous name.

Ellie- No explanation necessary.
Little E- She is little and her name starts with E (Clever, I know).
The Butt- This one doesn't come across as kind but I promise it's said with all the love in the world. Ben and I have called each other Bum and Butt for years, we even call Rose (the pug) The Butt when she's deserving of the name. I guess it was only fair that Elliotte gets to join in on the fun.

I'm sure the list will continue to grow as more names roll off our tongues. Poor little girl...hehe

Is She a good baby?

*WARNING RANT*

If I hear someone ask me one more time if Elliotte is a good baby I'm going to spit chips....I understand that people just want to know whether she's easy or not but it still rubs me the wrong way. Yes, Elliotte is a very good baby, she has been crying non-stop for the last 48 hours and doesn't nap for longer than 20 minutes at a time, but she is still a good baby. This thought that our babies are somehow better or worse depending on how much they sleep or how easy they are to deal with is ridiculous. My poor girl clearly is having some tummy issues and only has one way to communicate that. The next time you get painful gas I think I'll start calling you a bad person for being in pain... It breaks my heart every time she goes into one of her crying fits, not because she's bad, but because she's helpless. I have thanked God on more than one occasion that he gave me maternal instincts and unconditional love for her because hearing her sob is exhausting, having to constantly change what I'm doing in order to find the most comfortable position for her is draining. I can't say that I haven't cried, or that I haven't BEGGED her to just feel better but I'm not mad at her, I don't scold her or try to punish her for crying, I try to soothe her. Being a parent is difficult but even after only 6 weeks, I already know that it's the greatest thing I will ever do. For anyone who's asking, Elliotte is a very good baby.

6 Weeks.

6 weeks is a bit of a milestone. I can't believe my little moose is 6 weeks old today! We had our FINAL midwife appointment today and I was kind of sad to say goodbye. Now it's back to our regular doctor of whom I have nothing positive to say what-so-ever....hmm maybe it's time to find a new doctor...suggestions?

Last night Elliotte slept from 11PM-5:30AM! Our night was completely glorious! She also slept in her bassinet for most of that time, and believe me that is amazing! I think the key to our success was that when I woke up at 12:30 I fed her while she slept. It was amazing, she actually managed to eat in her sleep! I've read a little bit about 'dream feeding' and since I was awake and she (amazingly) wasn't, I thought it was worth a try. Anyways, the only hitch was that once she woke up at 5:30 she wanted to be up for the day. It took me a good 2 hours of playing and interacting with her before she would go back to sleep. Sometimes I feel a bit like a parental failure since we aren't into a routine yet at 6 weeks, but I'm hoping this is the start of something good. 

Elliotte's Size:

At Ellie's appointment today she weighed 9 pounds 10 ounces. She gained 4.5 ounces this week which is on the low end of normal. She is now measuring 22 3/4in long, and her head circumference is 37cm. As far as percentile's go she is in the 90th for length and the 25th for weight. She is one long skinny girl! Ben and I both have tall and skinny people in our families, so maybe Ellie will take after her aunt or great-grandpa instead of her short parents. 

Post-Pregnancy Me:

Well, today is the day. I'm planning on heading out to the gym later on tonight or possibly tomorrow morning depending on the extent of my laziness. I am SOOO ready to get in shape and I'm ready to start eating healthy. I've been having some pretty major dental issues in the last few months so eating has been next to impossible. I basically eat soft carbs when I do manage to eat and it has been seriously difficult. Hopefully this is all about to change as I've made an appointment for October 1st with my Uncle. I cannot wait to have these dental problems behind me, trust me having two teeth that CONSTANTLY cause pain is not fun. I've even given in on the odd occasion and taken a tylenol which is NOT something that I like to do. 

Life Happenings:

Life is great! Now that Elliotte seems to be sleeping better I feel like a new person. We have been trying to get out lots. We went to a group that meets here in Saskatoon called 'the breastfeeding cafe', the name is misleading seeing as we don't actually just sit around talking about breastfeeding. It's a nifty idea, every week there is a different topic and an expert on that topic comes in to present. It's a great place to discuss your questions and concerns, there are women of all different opinions and stances and it has really helped me in my quest for the type of mother I want to be. 

The past few weeks I've done quite a bit of research into attachment parenting and all that goes along with it. This is a type of parenting that has really appealed to me since it seems to focus so much on the bond between mother and baby. On the other hand I felt kind of like it would be impossible for me to live up to the standards that are set by this model of parenting, i.e. never putting your child down, co-sleeping, exclusively breastfeeding etc, etc, etc.... I want the option of putting Ellie down so that I can shower, I love sleeping with my baby but honestly I'm terrified of smushing her in my sleep, I want to be able to go on a date with Ben, which would require pumping etc, etc, etc... Anyways, as all of this was causing me to stress out I realized something. I don't HAVE to adhere to every 'rule' of attachment parenting to be a good parent who is attached to her child. I can pump a bottle for my baby, leave her with my parents for two hours and STILL be a good parent (actually this might actually help me be a BETTER parent). Realizing that there is no hard-set rules to parenting has really helped me relax.

  Ok, end rant.

Ellie is still quite the fuss-pott in the evenings which makes group gatherings kind of tricky. I'm hoping as the weeks progress she'll settle down a little as well as us becoming more in tune to what's bothering her. Usually it's just hunger and I'm assuming she's cluster feeding so that she can last those longer stretches at night, if that's it than bring it on! I welcome anything that helps her sleep longer at night.

Weekly Highlight:

This past Sunday a few of my dear friends threw Ellie and I a beautiful shower. It was Dr. Seuss themed and they went above and beyond in decorations, food and games. Elliotte got so many cute clothes and books, I can't wait to put her in them. The only downside is that we now have a room that is literally FILLED with things that I have to somehow organize, good thing I have a year at home to do it! 

Peeking in at Elliotte while she swings around in her sling.

Loving this girl's smile!

5 Weeks.

So sorry that our update is pretty late this week but better late than never, right?! As I sit here typing, Elliotte is eating away so I figure if I can master the art of typing while breastfeeding I may end up being WAY more diligent with posting.

These are glorious days! I feel like Elliotte and I are in a bit of a babymoon. This first month reminds me of what it was like falling in love with Ben, I never tire of staring at her, kissing her, holding her all day long and although she sometimes cries for no apparent reason I love her, I have never felt so 100% obsessed with someone (Ben is a close second). I just can't get over the fact that Ben and I made this little person. I grew her inside of me without even having to think about it! I never shared on the blog and it's just a little too personal to get into details here but she truly is a miracle baby in every sense of the word and I'm baffled at how she came to be. I thank God for her every day, she truly is a gift from him.

Elliotte's Size:
As of Monday (4 weeks 5 days old) Ellie weighed 9 pounds 5.5 ounces, up 7 ounces from the week before. I find it so crazy to think that some people actually give birth to babies already this size. She seems so big to me and I guess compared to her birth weight she is, even though compared to some she's still quite small.

Post-Pregnancy Me:
Well, only a few more days till I throw myself into getting on track with my health. I have been thinking about how I'd like to be eating now that I'm no longer pregnant and even though I don't have to watch my blood sugar as closely I do want to be very conscientious of what I eat since I'm breastfeeding. I also want to get in shape not to mention live a long healthy life...more on this later! As far as fitness goes I plan on getting a gym membership next Wednesday. We'll see how often i can get away, I'm really looking forward to just a couple hours here and there for exercise, it has been too long.

Life Happenings:
Elliotte and I have been getting out and about almost every day. I think it's important for me to get out of the house to keep me sane. I'm lucky that we have a girl who likes her carseat. In the evenings we like to stay home and relax mainly because evenings aren't so great for Ellie, she seems to just be fussy all evening and it's difficult to know what she needs, as soon as she starts to shriek we go through the checklist of what's bothering her and typically she just wants to be rocked.

Weekly Highlight:
Last Sunday my sister-in-law and a couple of my aunties threw Ellie and I a shower. It was so beautiful and we felt so incredibly loved and blessed by all the gifts. Elliotte has pretty much an entire room filled to the brim with clothes, books, blankets and stuffed animals. I'm really looking forward to when she's more interactive. I'm trying to remind myself to enjoy every minute of who she is right now. They really do grow up too fast.

A picture of my sleeping beauty.

And here is Elliotte wide eyed and staring. She's really becoming her own little person these days.

4 Weeks.

After 28 days of being a mom and I would say that we're starting to get into a routine. Spending my days with Elliotte is pretty great I would have to say, however there is one thing that has been kind of difficult, it appears that little Elliotte has a good ol' fashioned case of colic. For the last 2 weeks she's been really fussy and cranky from about midnight to 5AM. This is one thing that I wished she hadn't gotten from me (I was colicky for the first 4 months of my life) but I guess it's something that we will power through, it's just so hard to see her cry and cry without being able to do much to help her. 

In other more exciting news, Elliotte has a middle name and is officially registered as a Canadian citizen. Her name is..... Elliotte Rose Chamagne. We have liked Rose as a middle name since we picked her first name however since Rose is the name of our dog we didn't think we could subject our baby to the same name. After 4 weeks of trying to find another name we decided that Rose was the perfect fit and hey, the dog won't live forever!

In even more exciting news Elliotte smiled this last week! Her first official smile was when she was 3 weeks and 1 day old and it was at her dad. Her whole face lit up and since then we've gotten smiles from her on a regular basis, it's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen! 

Updates Time:

Elliotte's Size:
Surprisingly, Elliotte only gained 4 ounces this week, weighing in at 8 pounds 14 ounce. It looks like she didn't have her growth spurt this week so I'm thinking she might have had it one week early which would explain the 10 ounce gain last week. I'm trying not to obsess over all these little things since there is such wide range of normal. I have to remind myself of this about 15 times a day.

Post-Pregnancy Symptoms:
I think this is my last week with this update since I don't really have any symptoms anymore. I went on a 1.5 hour walk the other day and was kind of sore after so I guess I'm either not fully healed or just really out of shape. Only 2 more weeks till I go back to the gym.

Life Happenings:
Elliotte and I have had lots of outings this last week. We have been going out for coffee, walks and shopping with friends. I'm trying to make sure we get out lots. The thought of spending all day every day at home alone scares me but I think I'm going to have to slow down a bit.

Weekly Highlight:
Ellie and I hung out with our friend Meagan this week. We put Ellie in her sling walked the bridges, she slept the whole walk despite the rain, it was absolutely perfect!


I love just sitting and staring at her while she sleeps, my little angel!

I bought the cutest baby book ever, I can't wait to fill it out.

One more for good measure.