New Life!

Life has been pretty crazy in these parts as of late. Two beautiful little girls were born, unexpectedly this past week. My sister-in-law and brother have been pregnant with twins due at the end of July, however she was extra high risk because of some complicated medical stuff and had to be watched extra carefully and had to go for ultrasounds weekly. Well, they went in for their ultrasound on Wednesday and were told that the twins had to come today! Off to the OR they went, and within minutes Taliana and Rayna Siemens were unceremoniously yanked from their home of 30 weeks and cried their first cries! I was so blessed to be able to go up to the NICU and meet my precious little nieces on their birthday. They are both incredibly small at roughly 3 pounds each, but are fighting hard and have been doing very well. 

I have loved watching my brother become a dad and seeing him fall head over heals for his identical little girls makes my heart sing! He is such a good daddy. He goes up to the NICU every day and sings lullabies that he has written for his little gems. He brags about all of their accomplishments non-stop. His wife has been such a trouper with such a fast adjustment and watching her recover from her c-section is inspiring! She had to get used to the idea that her pregnancy was over prematurely in an instant and has done amazingly. She is doing so well and I'm so proud of her! The next couple months are going to be rough as every day will be taken up with multiple trips up to the NICU, pumping around the clock and mourning the fact that the babies aren't at home with Mom and Dad where they belong. My heart aches for my brother and his new family and yet I rejoice at this gift of life! 

I'm so blessed to be auntie to these two little beauties, and I can't wait to get to know them better!

Purging...

So, we are in the throes of moving....

 I guess the only time I blog is when I should be doing something else, like pack up our gazillion boxes of things to be moved. This afternoon my parents took Elliotte which allowed Ben and I to spend a good chunk of time going through all of our things, it was wonderful. We filled two GIANT garbage bags of clothes to be donated and another couple bags of things to be thrown out. I'm really looking forward to seeing my new wardrobe when we get established in the new house. I LOVE getting rid of clutter not that you'd know it....but I really do. It feels so good when you get in that mood and just start tossing things in garbage bags left right and centre. It seems fitting that we should be going through this purging of our things because lately I've really been craving a purging in other areas as well. I've been feeling a draw to simpler living, essentially taking care of our bodies and our minds and getting rid of all the 'clutter' that gets in the way of getting us to the place that the Lord wants us to be.

 One of the areas that I'm realizing the importance of is physical health. I've been making an effort in the choice of foods that we eat but I have been majorly lacking in the exercise aspect. Ben has been saying for months now that after he gets home from work he would love to watch Elliotte while I go for a run. I've finally taken him up on it. I've only been running for a couple weeks now, but let me tell you, I LOVE IT. It feels so refreshing to get out in the crisp spring weather and I can't even express how amazing it is to have that half hour to myself to work with my body and do something hard, I'm hooked. 

Another area I've felt a draw to purge is our media consumption. After a long day a lot of the time Ben and I like to relax on the couch and watch something mindless on Netflix.  For a lot of my teenage years we didn't have a TV and I've always said that my kids won't watch any TV, so the fact that we watch it so much is starting to get me pretty disheartened. I'm sure if we don't make a change soon, then when Elliotte gets to the age where TV can distract her I will readily go to it as a babysitter. We haven't taken any steps in the media purging direction yet, soon I hope.

Anyways there are a few of my thoughts, I know they're quite scattered and possibly don't make much sense but I have to get back to packing so there you have it. I'm sure next time I check in we will be in our new home!   

Here is Elliotte camped out in what will be our new kitchen...

Granting yourself grace.

It's 7AM and I'm wide awake, this is rare, typically at this time you would find me groggily trying to get back to sleep, groggily feeding a baby, or on a good night actually asleep. Last night Ben and I went out with another couple to dinner and a movie and Ellie was at my parents place. I think she was away from me for longer than ever before, 4.5 hours. Anyways, we got home at around 10:30 put Elliotte promptly to bed and quickly followed suit ourselves and were asleep within minutes.

Fast forward....I woke up to surprisingly NOT a baby crying, I looked around for my cell to check the time assuming it was probably midnight. Imagine my surprise when my phone read 5:30! I had just been granted roughly 7 hours of sleep IN A ROW!!! I was in quite a lot of pain since I hadn't fed Ellie in so long so I was getting up to go pump when I heard a beautiful little stirring from the other room, perfect timing my girl! She ate like nobody's business and then conked out again. I didn't rush to put her down and spent the next few minutes stroking her cheek, tracing her ears with my finger, holding her close revelling in the beauty of my girl. It's an amazing feeling, feeding my baby when I'm not teetering on unconsciousness. Now I'm wide awake and feel more rested than ever, it's amazing what a few hours of uninterrupted sleep can do!

I tell you this story not to brag but to point out the need to grant ourselves grace. I have a tendency to feel guilty about most of what I do, or don't do. Only now, feeling rested do I know how much of a fog I have been living in. Ellie has been waking up on average 6-9 times a night, I didn't realize how hard that has been on me. It's rare that I get much more than laundry and cooking done in a day and I have been feeling horrible about it, like a failure as a mother and wife. Whether we have children or not, there are areas in our lives where we don't get enough rest, it may be physical sleep, or that we overwork ourselves, or even just our mental capability of making ourselves feel so incredibly small. Whatever it is, let us not beat ourselves up about the things we DON'T do 'right' and instead realize that we are human, we can't do everything. The important thing is to give ourselves some grace,  and pray that a good night's rest is right around the corner.

Now, how about some photos?!

This girl LOOOVES bathes, pardon the blurriness. 

Taken on her half birthday.

She is trying to crawl SOOO hard, I don't think it will be too too long before she figures it out.

This girl is SOOOO independent, every time you come at her with a spoon she tries with all of her might to snatch the spoon and do it herself, creating an epic mess...every time.

Pug and baby, BFFs.

Profound, I know.

So everything I have to say today is going to come out sounding like a cliché but even though you hear things over and over, when they pertain to you somehow it seems so profound, ya know? Tonight as Ellie was in her bath I was struck by how amazing life is (profound, I know). From the moment we are conceived we begin to change. The first while it's mostly development as far as size and growing organs etc, etc, then once we are born we begin to learn the 'ways of life' mighty quickly, we continue to grow in size but all of a sudden we are becoming smart.... For instance, for the past couple weeks Elliotte has been able to sit on her own in the bath and consequentially has discovered splashing. The incredible pride I feel when I watch her entire face light up as her brain makes the connection between the cause and effect of hitting the water with her hands is kind of ridiculous... I am blown away at the amazing learning curve of a 5 1/2 month old. Every day she seems to find something else in this world that she wants to learn and she does it. Lately I've been watching as she scooches backwards, or how she will stand FOREVER, giggling and squealing while she holds on to the coffee table, or how she likes to grab the dogs tail and stick it in her mouth... Her eyes are always so interested in the world around her and I love to watch as I see understanding hit her face. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't believe how amazing it is that something can start out as an egg and a sperm and somehow becomes a person, a completely unique, beautiful, lovely person (profound, I know!).

5 Month Update

Elliotte's Size:

My little girl was weighed this morning and was a whopping 13 pounds 1.5 ounces... We have visited  a lactation consultant because I was concerned that Elliotte has not been gaining enough weight and I feel so much better now. I have been really concerned about her getting enough milk and it was nice to have been given some tools to help increase my supply. The lactation consultant told me that since Elliotte is happy, wets enough diapers and is super active I should not supplement with formula, or begin solids and not to go on any drugs to increase my supply (for now), but instead to take the next two weeks to try to work on my supply and only then if her weight is still not increasing enough to visit a doctor. I was worried that I would be told to instantly go out and buy formula and give up breastfeeding altogether, it was such a relief to see a professional who was not overly concerned. I suppose in two weeks if she has not gained we will be forced to take some action.

Developments:

This child is sitting like a boss! She is perfectly stable now and loves to sit and look at the world around her. She also has taken more of an interest in toys and likes to grab and shake and stick everything in her mouth.

She has started somewhat crawling backwards and I don't think it will be too long before she's a crawling machine. It's cute, if I put her on her tummy and stick a toy in front of her she will try SOO hard to get to it and usually ends up scooting herself backwards. 

I now know why Ellie has been drooling a ridiculous amount and can't keep things out of her mouth for a second....TEETH! Sure enough Elliotte has two teeth ready to pop out the front bottom of her mouth. You can see them and all that stands between the fresh air and those two pearly whites is a thin layer of skin.

Tidbits:

• Sleeping has been 100% better. Elliotte is slowly transitioning to a 7:00PM bedtime and will usually only get up 3 or so times to eat before getting up for the day at 7:00AM and luckily at least one those times is while I'm still awake. I could totally get used to only getting up 2-3 times a night. 
• Ellie has this incredibly high-pitched screech that she likes to use to show us that she's happy, I'm convinced it's the cutest thing in the entire universe. 
• Pretty much all of Elliotte's hair fell when she was a month old or so and it's finally starting to grow back.
• Elliotte eye colour keeps changing but I think she's going to end up with hazel eyes, time will tell.
• I have been teaching Elliotte some signs and I'm almost certain that she now can sign 'milk' to me!

I'm so amazed at my girl, she blows me away with all the ways in which she is developing and all on her own volition! I can't wait for what's next.

Got my hair done this week, it was LONG overdue. My babysitting situation fell through so I got to bring Elliotte with me. 

Picture taken on her 5 month birthday.

Sleeping beauty

My regal beauty of the pug variety!