I don't exactly know how this is going to go, the entire day is quite a blur in my mind. There are large chunks of the day that I don't remember at all so I may end up getting some help from Ben in remembering bits and pieces.
Elliotte's Birth Day
I woke up at 4:30 AM on August 8th to a painful contraction. It's funny how for so many weeks I had been wondering if every tightening of my belly was 'the real thing' and when 'the real thing' finally hit I just knew. After the first contraction I waited and sure enough ten minutes later I felt another one. I knew at this point that sleep was the most important thing to get so I tried going back to sleep. It became clear to me when seven minutes later another contraction hit that sleep wasn't going to be happening. I thought if I had a bath maybe it would slow the contractions down so that I could sleep some more, however, getting in the tub didn't slow anything down and I started having contractions every five minutes. As soon as I got out of the bath I knew that I should eat something, although I had no appetite whatsoever. I jumped in the car and drove to Tim Hortons where I picked up a bagel. It was super inconvenient that we had no food in the house but I knew I needed some complex carbs so I went anyways.
Once I got home contractions were consistently three to five minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds, walking around was the best way to cope at this point. I pretty much paced and breathed for the next hour. At six Ben woke up and came out of the bedroom to see me pacing the living room. I told him that I thought this was 'it' but that he should go to work since I figured I could use some alone time and promised to text when I needed him to come home.
Here are a series of the texts that we sent back and forth during the short 2 hours that Ben was at work. It didn't take me long to realize that I didn't want to be alone.
At one point the contractions slowed to about 6 minutes apart and I thought I should walk the dog. Luckily, the next contraction ended up being pretty intense and I decided against it. This was the beginning of an increase in intensity.
At 8:30AM I told Ben that he needed to come home because I was needing him. That 40 minute drive for him to come home felt like forever. At this point I was coping with contractions by sitting on the exercise ball and leaning on the couch. I was already moaning through the pains and I realized that I wouldn't be the silent, graceful labouring woman that I had hoped I would be....
When Ben got home from work I set him to work right away putting the birth pool together. Once the pool was set up I figured it was time to call the doula to let her know that we would hopefully be needing her within the next hours. I called her and said that we would most likely want her to come around 11AM. After calling the doula we called the midwife who said she would be over in an hour. She came at 10:30AM and checked me. She wouldn't tell me how dilated I was but she said I was 100% effaced so I knew that my body had done SOMETHING in the last 6 hours. After some investigating I got the midwife to say that I wasn't in active labour yet (according to dilation, although according to the frequency of my contractions I was) and she left saying to call her when things kicked up a notch.
Here is the last smiling picture of me pregnant. This was taken at about 9:30AM while Ben was setting up the pool.
The next few hours Ben and I spent alone, he talked me through contractions, practiced his Norwegian lessons...(he's taking an online Norwegian course) and even slept for a bit while I sat, walked or did whatever it took to cope with the contractions. At one point we actually watched a stand up comedian on Netflix, I can't say that I paid much attention. I do remember feeling like by this point the contractions were pretty intense and they were definitely close together (2-3 minutes apart), little did I know how intense they were going to get.
At about 2PM I said that it was time to call our doula. I thought I was coping well, but I knew that things had kicked it up a notch and Ben was definitely more comfortable having someone else there. She got there half an hour later and the instant she walked into our house she came over to me and began breathing with me. When she got there I realized how poorly I had actually been coping and it was so helpful having someone there to help Ben know what to do. Breathing was something that I really needed help with during labour and from the moment she got there until our Ellie was born she breathed through every contraction with me, 'in through the nose out through the mouth', I probably heard those words over 300 times during the course of the day. It was SO hard to breath in, but breathing out felt amazing. After only a few minutes of being with us our doula realized that I wasn't coping very well in my current position and suggested labouring in the bathroom. We got upstairs and I sat backwards on the toilet leaning on a pillow. This was actually an extremely comfortable position. I had shooting pains down the sides of my legs during every contraction and the only way that I could handle it was having our doula apply pressure to the sides of my legs while Ben would push on my low back which was aching like crazy, then in between contractions one of them would stroke my upper back while the other stuck a straw of water or a Booster Juice in my mouth and demand that I drink. By this point I had lost any concept of time. I remember even asking what time it was and our doula saying that time didn't matter, I'm grateful now for that because if I had been counting the hours I would have gotten really discouraged.
At one point I got in the bathtub. It felt AMAZING. I wouldn't say that the water decreased my contraction pain at all, but being able to float really helped the pain in the sides of my legs and my low back. Eventually while in the tub I said that I wanted to call the midwife. Ben or the doula must have called her because I definitely didn't. The midwife that showed up was not my regular midwife as my primary midwife was with another patient and would be showing up a little later. I LOVED this midwife though. She came into the bathroom, explained everything she was doing really well and made me feel instantly comfortable around her even though I didn't know her. I asked her to check me and she said that I was 5 centimetres, close to 6. At this point I also demanded that Ben tell me the time, so I know that this was at 5PM. Now looking back I'm surprised that I wasn't more discouraged that after 12 hours of labour I was only half way there, but I wasn't. I hardly even thought about how much was left to go, I was just so amazed that my body had worked so hard and had gotten to 5 centimetres on it's own! At one point in the bath tub I projectile vomited my booster juice all over, REALLY classy! After this cute little episode it was advised that I get out of the tub. I wasn't super interested in remaining steeped in my own vomit anyways.
I got out of the tub and if I remember correctly the birth pool was filled but the water was too warm so I had to manage some contractions on dry land. This was AWFUL. My primary midwife showed up at this point and yet I don't remember much of her. She would come check the baby's heart rate every 15 minutes or so and otherwise was sitting writing who knows what. Finally the pool was ready and I got to climb in. Once again I had NO concept of time so I can't tell you what time I got in or what time I got out. In my mind I was only in the tub for about 10 minutes but Ben assures me that it was a couple hours at least. It was while I was in the pool that I entered transition....Now for people who are not well versed in labour and the natural progression of things I will fill you in. Transition is by far the hardest part of labour. It spans the time that your cervix opens from 7 centimetres to 10 centimetres. In my case I was blessed with contractions one on top of another all through transition, just as a contraction would start to ease up another one would come. I dry heaved and my whole body shook through every contraction which makes trying to breath mighty hard. I BEGGED for an epidural, a c-section, and to be driven to the hospital. Let me just interject how impressed I am with Ben, even though I was thrashing about, he stayed right there with me holding a cold cloth on my neck and forehead, telling me how proud he was of me, and all while I behaved like a wild beast!
During this horrible, horrible point I was checked a couple times and it seemed like there was a bit of cervix that just wouldn't open. I was feeling quite a bit of pressure with each contraction (a sign that I was ready to push) but unless I was fully dilated Elliotte would not be able to pass through.The midwife suggested getting out of the tub to try some different positions to help finish the process. I hated her for making me get out, but oh well, it had to be done. Eventually the midwife suggested she try to help me stretch the rest of the way. Now I'm sorry if this is too graphic but oh well, no one is making you read this! So during a contraction she reaches up and tries to manually stretch the cervix, she had to do this 4 or 5 times (ouch) and eventually it worked and I was ready to push out my baby!
Since we were planning a water birth I hobbled back over to the pool and got in. What happened next is a blur. The midwife was checking Elliotte's heart rate during every contraction and after only a couple contractions it was obvious that she wasn't doing well. I was told to get out of the tub right then and I was moved over to the couch. After 25 minutes of pushing the one midwife told the other to call the ambulance, Elliotte's heart rate was still not doing as well after contractions as it should and they were anticipating that I would be pushing for a while still. On the next contraction I used every ounce of strength that I had left and on Wednesday, August 8th at 11:24PM out she came! She came out with her little fist up by her head which is why her heart rate kept dropping. I ended up with a tiny tear and 2 stitches which was not bad at all.
Elliotte was the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen. For the first 10 minutes of her life we just stared at her in awe. We didn't even look to see whether we had a girl or a boy. After the most amazing shower in the whole world I joined my new family and climbed into bed where we spent the next few hours finding out all we could about our little Ellie. She was 7 pounds 1/2 ounce and 20 inches long, absolutely perfect.
Giving birth was the hardest thing that I've ever done but it was so worth it! I can't believe how intense the contractions were and how strong a woman's body is. I just can't believe that she's here!
Moments after she was born.
Ben holding his daughter for the first time.
A new family!
She was so alert and just stared at us with her beautiful big eyes.
