It's 7AM and I'm wide awake, this is rare, typically at this time you would find me groggily trying to get back to sleep, groggily feeding a baby, or on a good night actually asleep. Last night Ben and I went out with another couple to dinner and a movie and Ellie was at my parents place. I think she was away from me for longer than ever before, 4.5 hours. Anyways, we got home at around 10:30 put Elliotte promptly to bed and quickly followed suit ourselves and were asleep within minutes.
Fast forward....I woke up to surprisingly NOT a baby crying, I looked around for my cell to check the time assuming it was probably midnight. Imagine my surprise when my phone read 5:30! I had just been granted roughly 7 hours of sleep IN A ROW!!! I was in quite a lot of pain since I hadn't fed Ellie in so long so I was getting up to go pump when I heard a beautiful little stirring from the other room, perfect timing my girl! She ate like nobody's business and then conked out again. I didn't rush to put her down and spent the next few minutes stroking her cheek, tracing her ears with my finger, holding her close revelling in the beauty of my girl. It's an amazing feeling, feeding my baby when I'm not teetering on unconsciousness. Now I'm wide awake and feel more rested than ever, it's amazing what a few hours of uninterrupted sleep can do!
I tell you this story not to brag but to point out the need to grant ourselves grace. I have a tendency to feel guilty about most of what I do, or don't do. Only now, feeling rested do I know how much of a fog I have been living in. Ellie has been waking up on average 6-9 times a night, I didn't realize how hard that has been on me. It's rare that I get much more than laundry and cooking done in a day and I have been feeling horrible about it, like a failure as a mother and wife. Whether we have children or not, there are areas in our lives where we don't get enough rest, it may be physical sleep, or that we overwork ourselves, or even just our mental capability of making ourselves feel so incredibly small. Whatever it is, let us not beat ourselves up about the things we DON'T do 'right' and instead realize that we are human, we can't do everything. The important thing is to give ourselves some grace, and pray that a good night's rest is right around the corner.
Now, how about some photos?!
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| This girl LOOOVES bathes, pardon the blurriness. |
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| Taken on her half birthday. |
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| She is trying to crawl SOOO hard, I don't think it will be too too long before she figures it out. |
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| This girl is SOOOO independent, every time you come at her with a spoon she tries with all of her might to snatch the spoon and do it herself, creating an epic mess...every time. |
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| Pug and baby, BFFs. |
